I am 35, my partner 44. We both are engaged and been out for nearly 3 years. the first 2 years were sorting out his debts, remortgage, arrears etc. Now when his bonus arrives in April from work he should have now cleared all these issues. He worked hard for that bonus and things are on the up.
However, just lately, whenever I ask about a wedding date, he says when his money is clear and better we will look into wedding plans more so.
I feel I have been waiting in this relationship for 3 years for him to get himself sorted. We live in his house, which we had to rent out for 6 months while we lived in it with some real characters which wasnt nice and we broke up during that time.
Now its better and we live there alone, I have my own flat rented out as well. Financially things are fine, I dont have any debts or worries and work 60 hour week. Just lately, I have non stop colds, my job can take me to midnight 2 nights per week and at weekends we just or more like i just flake out from exhaustion.
I would like to half my hours and work part time and have children, he said he would love children, I have come off the pill now for 3 months but nothing as of yet ie not pregnant. I see his friends with their married lifestyle, 2 children, house, mortgage together and I get upset, somewhat jealous even at times and wish that was me. Their wives work part time….He mentions I dont contribute to the house, (its still not in his name, but with his ex because of arreas pending) but I do, he pays the bills, I get the food and do up the house (which isnt mine) inside so its lovely and at the same time pay my flat as well ie mortgage, bills etc as the tenant in there only pays for the mortgage. So its not like I am saving money or fritting it away. We both earn roughly the same but he has the debts to pay off.
I worry also as my partner jokes and says he wishes he worked for himself, every monday morning him and his best friend call one another every morning before heading to work moaning about their jobs and hoping for a change one day. My partner even jokes about starting something else…which is fine but with his back log of previous debt he is just getting his things sorted out and then he says this which makes me feel really unstable about family/children etc. He doesnt like driving to work, so makes sure he is hardly in the office so instead works at home or travels to see clients then comes home afterwards, forever changing his mind throughout the week.
I am feeling a little lost even though he wants and says he wants a family and marriage. His best friend,been married 20 years, 2 children, 2 houses, one in UK the other abroad…..his wife is lovely but he still moans about her, talks about her horribly to my partner and like 2 school kids are like this every morning on the phone to work!
men will they ever grow up???? lol but I sense I am running out of time and patience here…I am not sure whether to wait for April until this is resolved ie his bonus but when I mention to him that its upsetting me, we end up rowing and he gets defensive, saying well I dont do this, dont do that…and on it goes….!!!
The house is immaculate, washing done, beds clean, cleaning done…I try as much as I can while working a full time job as well….sometimes I feel we live 2 separate lives, now we sleep in 2 separate rooms because I dont feel understood about this and it clears my head thinking alone.
thank you for reading such a long post!
x
first of all - a man of his age -44- must already have strong career, big salary and payed out house. and children. like his buddy. if he still hasn’t decided what the heck does he want and still has some debts and house not sorted out - he is a pretty lousy candidate for a father of your children. and u re 35 - when re u going to start having children? isn’t 35 already pretty late? so what re u waiting for? i say he is a boy, not a man and he will never grow up. some men re born grown up and mature and some die being spoiled useless brats. my husband for instance pays for everything and i do not work - i concentrate on my kids which are not even his - they re from my previous, useless, marriage. so u better sort the thing about money and children now, before u re 40.
Work from home and get paid.
No
Lets face it. Australians don’t know the meaning of the word poverty.
We earn $17 an hour and think it is a low wage. We all live a very comfortable middle class lifestyle because of very even income distribution and developed eco.
Some might say we are spoiled. But I have say we have earned everything we have by always questioning authority and standing up for working class rights. By helping out our neighbor in need, and in return being helped such that no Australian ever needs to live in poverty.
Those same people calling Australians spoiled are the same people oppressing their own. Those same people that live lavish lives of luxury while their own population languishes in poverty. They know nothing of suffering, or want or need, yet they condemn Australians because we have the common sense and decency to organize our society in a fair way.
We developed, we did not not over breed and we did not fall for capitalist ideology.
Why should we feel guilty for our generous society ?
Americans you killed a lot more native people than the Australians did. We’re just more public and remorseful about what happened.
The attitude towards women is simple it is sensible.
They have vagina’s they make babies and they complain a lot. They can also do whatever they want but generally, they prefer to be submissive, ok, alright, that is their choice.
Airports are bad everywhere in the world and there are fat middle class jerks everywhere in the world too.
being from usa and having looked at things realisticly and traveled a lot i would say neither australians or americans should complain about much cuz we both have life far above average of world and mostly through no fault of others nor through our own doings.. we both stand on the shoulders of those who came before us and kicked butt and worked hard… but do you truly think that you would have same lifestyle if you were born to a mother in ethiopia? or india? or china? or wherever? now if you start to think blood counts & you deserve it cuz of your ancestors then you really need to suck it up and drop to youir knees and kiss the queens toes and toss out your independance cuz hey, thats blood line too… be proud of what you do with what you have and opportunity but dont for a second prance around saying you deserved that opportunity more than any other person born on same day you were all over this planet… we r both lucky & better off to appreciate that fact
I work from home every day for my job. My entire department is spread throughout the country. I feel like I am going crazy not seeing anyone or talking to anyone (in person) the whole day. I go to the gym every day, that helps a bit. Any thoughts on how I can reduce the loneliness I feel or is just part of the territory of working from home? Thank you!!!!
I totally understand how you feel. I worked from home alone for a while and my husband would come home from work wanting to stay at home. I would want to leave my home. I would suggest getting a dog or some kinda of animal to be there with you throughout the day. Also stay connected with social networks so you can keep up with people of you like mindness. It is hard being alone but you can do it. I know I did. My husband and I both work from home now and I really enjoy that. Again get a pet!
Okay, I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.
I can fight some of the issues, but I can’t change the clock. I’m facing my 67th birthday later this month. I’m reasonably healthy, with a few issues. I’ve achieved most of my life’s goals, and I’m working on some others.
I now understand that I will not live forever, though I hope to be around for a good while.
I don’t want to be incapacitated, and hope to avoid it.
I don’t care if I look a little bit old. I earned it. I want to live life to the fullest.
Any words of advice? (I’m not coloring my hair.)
Thank you for your thoughts, Melissa, but I found Christ decades ago and he’s already my savior.
That’s why I’m not worried about the next great adventure after life. It’s the great adventures BETWEEN now and then that have my attention.
Growing gracefully is not about how you look, but about how you feel. Accepting and embracing the body’s natural aging process, is key to having a better peace of mind. Instead concentrate on the activities that renew your mind and boost your soul.
Enjoy the activities that bring you joy and laughter. Spend time with family members with whom you share loving relationships. Be a channel of blessings to others by sharing the wisdom of your experiences, your home, your laughter, etc., with others even total strangers.
Mix well with people of all ages, so you don’t feel like an age is hanging over your head or death will be knocking soon. Comparatively 67 is young and you with God’s grace have many more years ahead of you, considering you are in good health.
While you may have accomplished most of your preset goals, make new ones, and this time make them fun goals without restrictions or time limits, and live life like you just started afresh.
Try new activities, even those you may have previously thought boring or not your style, you just might surprise yourself.
Make new friends of all ages and races, you never know which paths you might discover.
Charitable giving of your time, not just your money, will bring you more satisfaction, and when you do give money include causes that you might actually be able to witness the gratitude on the recipients faces. There is a lot of joy in giving.
Spend quality time on your passion, and if it includes travelling, explore new horizons rather than familiar destinations, it will open you up to new beginnings.
Give gratitude to God daily and help others to do the same.
Happy birthday in advance, and may your joys be fulfilled and your horizons be broadened.
I am always hearing on TV about all these work from home jobs and I just recently lost my job and I was thinking about trying it out. I made 35K a year at my old job and I need to make at least that much to survive. Does anyone know anything about any kind of work from home job. I am married with two little girls, so working from home would be awesome, but I just dont know how true those commercials are.
They are all scams, I suggest to better stay away.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over eight months now and my parents haven’t liked him since the day they met him. They got over it but they’ve started back again. A few weeks ago, I lost $40. I was with him Thursday night and I realized it was gone on Friday afternoon. They’re dead set on telling me it was him. I was the only one who had my wallet that night and there’s no way possible he could have taken it.
(Side Note: He went to jail a few weeks before that for theft. He got out and he’s going to court sometime soon. It happened, it’s over with.)
My mom and I got into a fight because of the $40. It turned into a fight because I do what I want with the money I earn. She said if I kept that up then I would have to start paying for insurance, cell phone, ect. She also said that while I was living under her roof I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with my money. By this she means take my boyfriend out on a date, as in I pay for everything.
While I was at work, a friend of mine came in and told me that his father had told him that my boyfriend stole money from me. My dad had told his dad that he did. I went and confronted my dad about it that night and he wouldn’t talk to me about it. The next night, we got into a huge argument. We yelled at each other and he threatened to hit me and everything. Long story short, they take my truck away except for school and work.
On Tuesday of this week, I was in a car wreck. It wasn’t horrible but my truck is undrivable at the moment. I just had a few bruises but my work wanted me to go to the doctor and make sure I could work. While we were there my mom said she knew about my boyfriend going to jail (this is why I put the side note in earlier) and she knew that when i had stayed with a friend of mine, he’d been there, too. She’s figured out that we’ve had sex, but I’m 17 so there’s not much she can do about it.
While waiting for the doctor to come back we started talking about what path I’m going down. I’m going to a nearby community college after I graduate and I’m going to school for English, more than likely Teaching. My boyfriend wants to be a police officer and he wants to go into the Air Force in order to do this and he wants to marry me before he gets into it so that he can support me whenever he’s not there because a spouse gets all the benefits of the soldier and he’s gonna send me money from his paycheck so that I can pay bills and everything. In other words, he’s ready to start a life with me.
My parents want me to choose between them and my boyfriend and if I choose him, I have no place to live after graduation, which isn’t a big deal because my boyfriend is already getting an apartment whenever he graduates and his parents move back to Georgia.
My parents want me to get advice about what I should do and they want me to know how hard living on my own is going to be. So what I’m asking is for you to give me your opinions on my situation and what you would do and your experiences when you moved out and started living on your own.
I don’t need smart ass comments. I’m looking for advice.
He did not steal my money. I either lost it or some thief at my high school took it.
Your mom is crazy. hahaha i didnt say what you thought i would say!!! for real though i think shes my mom who has to take meds to be anywhere near sane. look ive already told you what i think. ( i think) either way, heres what i think, for 1 the day you wrecked your truck, me, my bf and your bf almost cried because we were so worried about you. your mom just yelled at you for wrecking your stupid truck!!! not that your trucks stupid, i just think shes stupid for not caring about if you were hurt or not. that makes me wonder if your mom is okay or not. anyways always remember that i love you. so does charlie and jayden. Junior loves you a lot too. okay. just keep your cool for now. things will work out the way they are supposed to dont worry. i love you!!! AND NOW I HAVE A MESSAGE TO ALL THE ASSHOLES WHO HAVE TO LEAVE A STUPID SMART ASS COMEMNT…. well i cant say what i want to say becuase im nice, but you need to just leave her alone and mind your own business. your only being mean to her because your completly insecure of yourself.
another thing… im not being rude this time but the person her parents want her with is worse then her bf. both of them are my friends so i know for experience, im not giving a biased oppinion. also, her parents yell at her for everything!!! and i mean that literally. her mom told me shed kill me if angel got pregnant!!!! thats not my fault if she does that…. o sry rambling
I am so frustrated!
I’ve worked with so many work from home jobs and cant seem to find one that is actually legitimate. Do legitimate work from home jobs exist? If so, where can I find one?
Please help!
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Well in my family there has been various problems. For example sometimes we are cool like we get along. When I mean by family is that its just my mom, dad, sister, and me. All my life I have spent it in my house and I do nto go out leterally go out. All my winter break I spent it in my house the only times I went out was because we had a reunion at my aunts on Christmas and New Years Eve. I do not even go to my backyard because there is nothing to do. So I get deppresed, every night when I went to bed I was happy, but to think that this is it tommorrow the same routine. With my family problems is even worse. My mom has a relative who has a kid, but does not live with the mom, but he sends money to her children, well the children that are not his. They only have one in commomn. Though my mom tells him not to do that because the other children are not his responsibility. To earn some money for hmself. When my dad gave his opinion about how my mom should live him alone and not tell the same thing every time because he wont call again. Because instead of getting suport from my mother, he gets a whole speech. So my dad told my mom how she should not say those things again she got mad. My sister took my mom’s side and I took y dad’s side. I know that if you love one you tell them what is best for them, but this has being going on for years. So obviously he is not going to change. So I prefer he calls us to say hi instead if not calling because of my mom’s speech.Another problem is that every time a conversation comes up about money she says that its better not to have money because anyone who owns money just becomes stucke up. And I feel tha every time she hears about some one who has money she qualifies them as all the same. And well she comes up from a humble family, but does not mean everyone is the same. When I see myself in the future. I do not see myself living in my house because all the problems I had there every vacation stuck in there too. During the holidays I just see my self visiting there that is it. I jsut feel that I need to get myself out of here or I am going to go crazy. Though I feel selfish when I think of not coming home very often because I do put myself in the position that if I were to be a mother I would miss them, but I would at least have more communication. I never had a lot of communication with my parents besisde hi and some things that happen in school. Everything I know about sex, life is by friends and school so I feel lonely. I just want to know that if it is really bad just to have some time for myself come once in a while home to visit them. THOUGH SOME TIMES I JUST NEED TO GET OUT. THAK YOU!
You are assuming to much. Let the grown ups handle their affairs. be vocal about your wishes but try not to pick sides and such it only causes division. I would also say that you need to go out more. It is healthy to be social. I would advose you to talk to someone about all your issues. They seem to weigh heavily on you and I feel you are too young.
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